Movie Reviews. From the Hip.


"What should we see this weekend?"

"Will that be any good?"

"What would DORIEN SAY?"

... Here's what DORIEN SEZ.

Welcome to the premiere movie reviewer that JUDGES FILMS BEFORE THEY COME OUT! Armed only with a few previews and a crack-shot snap judgment, I bring you the most succinct, accurate, and cocksure film reviews this side of the River Wild... which sucked!


Saturday, August 27, 2011

KILLER ELITE (September 23rd)

You ready for this?

Game's over.


Whoa whoa, guys who made the trailer for this movie, don't give away all the good stuff in the first five seconds.  You only need whet my appetite.  Save some of that generic, non-plot-specific garbage for later!

We have to do something.

Close it down.


Oho, I'm sure it is.  No doubt writer/director Gary McKendry and writer/friend Matt Sherring scoured the internet for facts to pepper throughout this screenplay.  They may have taken some healthy license with the dialogue.

You have no idea who you're messing with.

Listen, Danny's gonna come back for me.  And when he does, you're outta here.

He's your worst nightmare.

Fuck me.  Killer Elite stars Jason Statham as a killer forced out of retirement to kill Clive Owen and his cronies before they kill Robert De Niro.  There's loads of action in this movie, sweet stunts, and plenty of killing.  It's vintage Statham, from the flips and karate to the dives out of windows, even his trademark lack of a sense of humor.  Nobody scowls like Statham, and with the likes of Bobby D. and Clivey O. as scene partners, he's stepped up his game.  At any given moment he looks either angry, aggravated, stern, or very furious.  All colors of the Statham rainbow are on display here.

You had him, you let him get away!  It's over.

Let's finish this.

Unlike Jason, Clive O. is an actor -- one who seems to enjoy doing action movies.  Killer Elite is certainly a step up from the likes of The International and Shoot 'Em Up.  Let's just hope he doesn't go Cage on us and appear almost exclusively in ridiculous action, thriller, and fantasy films.

This guy is good.

You have no idea.

And then there's Mr. De Niro, who has been Caging around for the past decade.  Watching him fire a rocket launcher from a speeding car had novelty value in Ronin, in 1998; that still holds true in Killer Elite, with Bob throwing some lethal blows with his hands, head, and guns.  Post-murder one-liners might not be his forte, but by now he's perfectly at home in an action movie with a shitty script.  It makes KE both great fun and a god damned shame. 

Man, you really are one crazy son of a--


Killer Elite is fine.  It is, as they say, action-packed, and it's an entertaining show.  The problem is that it's too dumb to be a really good action film, and takes itself too seriously to be a great bad action film, like The Expendables.  It lives in the Statham zone: you'll have a good time watching all the violence, but in the end, fuck it.  It's best enjoyed if you are ready to laugh.

The final image of the trailer has the three guys standing around a briefcase full of money.

So that's what this is all about, says Clive.

I gotta cover my expenses, answers Bob.

I respect your honesty, gentlemen.

Dorien Sez: C+
Watch the Trailer:

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